The farce of "Uncle" Ted

The childrens television show Bobby's World was a huge hit in the early to mid 90's. I can remember many a Saturday morning spent watching the Generic family, with Howie Mandel providing most of the voices. One of my favorite characters was the self proclaimed "Uncle" Ted who always seemed to be lurking around somewhere. Many of my favorite episodes featured Bobby and "Uncle" Ted taking a vacation together and ultimately leaving the "universe" entirely, although not under the circumstances that I had blindly accepted as a kid. The truth is that most of the "daydream" sequences by Bobby, were actually drug fueled hallucinations...supported by "Uncle" Ted, and his wide array of opiates.

Howie Mandel was obviously using Uncle Ted to demonstrate his own drug powered hallucinations that had plagued him in much of his earlier comedic career. Even musical classics like "Underwater the fish don't stink" were all formed as a reaction to the heavy doses of heroin and LSD that Uncle Ted had slipped to Bobby. Knowing these facts it's impossible to keep idolizing "Uncle" Ted, who should be sent to animated rehab.

Discovering Led Zeppelin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4v-_p5dU34 listen to this while you read :)....

It may seem strange but up until a few weeks ago the only Zeppelin song I'd ever heard was "Stairway to Heaven," a song I'd always enjoyed but never been motivated to download, or explore any of the bands other hits. Unknowingly I was missing out on one of the best, most influential rock bands of all-time.

A few weeks ago I was listening to the "Metallica" Pandora radio station on my phone while working out and as any pandora user knows, the service plays music that is closely related to your pre-set band or artist. In this case " The Rain Song" by LZ started playing and after the first two minutes I was hitting the purchase button. The song itself is a masterpiece with the lengthy opening solo by Jimmy Page showcasing the unique sounds produced by his two-handled guitar. It provides a range that was at time was evolutionary, and still sounds fresh and original. Throughout the song there is a pairing of both "high" and "low" cords that blend together and provide a perfect back drop to the vocal talents of Robert Plant. (Sorry if my description sounds overly simplistic, I have no experience playing or studying music so it's hard to describe what technically is happening in the song) Given that one of my favorite albums is "Unplugged," by Eric Clapton, I'm not surprised that the acoustic style of "The Rain Song" is one of the aspects that I enjoyed most.

After the initial listening session with "The Rain Song" I logged onto youtube and continued listening to LZ for about oh, the next two hours. The thing that immediately jumped out at me was the tremendous range and multitude of styles that the band showcased. Vocally Robert Plant is able to adjust the pitch and tempo of his voice in such a way that it fits perfectly given the "mood" of that particular song or even the specific VERSE within a song. This is apparent in "Ten Years Gone," Plant opens with a couple slow, smooth, lilting lyrics that suddenly change to rough and loud to accompany the change in baseline.

Jimmy Page may very well be the greatest guitarist in the history of Rock. His prodigious talent is evident in every single track. Many of the riffs were ones that I'd heard other bands play or in movies unaware that they came from the lead guitarist of LZ. It's hard to describe his technical brilliance in words, but with possibly the exception of Hendrix, a more versatile sound has probably never been heard out of a guitar. My favorite songs (so far) from a strictly instrumental view: "Kasmir," "Stairway to Heaven," "Dazed and Confused."

It's been fun discovering a band that so many have and continue to love, and I look forward to hearing the rest of what they've produced. Although that may take me years as I have been hooked on the same 8 or 9 for weeks now.

Three favorite songs so far:
1. "The Rain Song"
2. "Kashmir"
3. "Dazed and Confused"

Your 2010 Seattle Mariners!

Well it's only day one of the blog and I'm already going to break from Seinfeld as a topic for this post. In this case I just couldn't resist looking at the 2010 Seattle Mariners, who currently sit 13 games under .500 and 15 games behind Texas in the division. Even though the Mariners haven' t made the playoffs since 2001 I can't remember another team that garnered as much optimism from Seattle fans heading into a season since the days of Johnson, Griffey, Martinez and company. Coming off a season where the team had won 85 games and shown a huge amount of improvement from the disastrous 2008 101 loss campaign, I was feeling confident that with a new GM and manager who both seemed to be major upgrades, that the team would take the next step and seriously contend in the division. I, along with most Mariners fans bought into most of the off-season moves that brought Chone Figgins, Casey Kotchman, Eric Byrnes (just threw up a little bit in my mouth as I was typing that), Milton Bradley, CLIFF LEE, Brandon League, Ian Snell, Jack Wilson, and Chad Cordero to Seattle.

Looking at the team now after 75 games, it's obvious that this may turn out to be the worst offense that the Mariners have ever put together. They currently occupy second to last place in overall team offense with a measly 255 runs scored and only 44 total team home runs, the league average is 344 and 72. This is a team who regularly starts 4 guys hitting at or under .200 and their home-run leader is Milton Bradley at 7. Beyond individual statistics is the fact that this team has been incapable of situational hitting all season. There have been so many times where they've had runners in scoring position and failed to score, Figgins has been especially bad..hitting into more double plays than any player I've seen so far. The lack of focus on offense extends to base running where there have been numerous errors by both the runners and base coaches. The image that sticks in my head is of Rob Johnson motoring around second base on a single and being thrown out by about 10 feet. Which is a good segway into my next section that outlines my hatred of a player who should be bagging groceries back in Montana somewhere.

Rob Johnson should not be a major league baseball player. It really is as simple as that, he can't hit, throw, or catch. This is a guy who has already allowed a ridiculous 18 wild pitches to go along with 7 passed balls, by far the worst catching numbers in the league. Teams should be supremely confident at their ability to run on him, he's only thrown out 28 of 66 runners or 30%. Offensively he has been a non-factor hitting .198 with 2 home-runs and 11 RBI's. The logical question would seem to be: Why is this guy a regular starter for the Mariners this season!? The answer is that Felix likes the way he calls games and nothing more. It would be less frustrating if the team just owned up to this fact and only started Johnson on days when Felix pitches. I guess we just have to hope that the front-office is able to land a great catching prospect in the inevitable Lee trade.

cameo characters

One of the things that I like most about Seinfeld, and what sets it apart from many other television shows, is the originality of it's secondary and "cameo" characters. Kenny Bania, the Soup Nazi, Crazy Joe Davola, David Puddy, Mr. Bookman, Babu Bhatt, "Shaky" the Moyle, the Rabbi, and Jackie Chiles, are just a few examples of some of the great secondary characters that are seen in almost every episode.

Some of the most memorable quotes from the series have come from these characters:

Crazy Joe Davola- "Jerry, Joe Davola. Ppt, ppt, ppt...ppt.. I have a hair on my tongue, can't get it off... you know how much I hate that? Ah of course you do, you put it there. I know what you said about me Seinfeld, I know you bad mouthed to the execs at NBC, put the kibosh on my deal. Now I'm going to put the kibosh on you! I have kiboshed before....and I will, kibosh again."

"Fear is our most primal emotion"

"I like to encourage intruders"

Bookman the library cop- "I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to...rock was never my bag, but you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York public library fella!"

"I've got a flash for you joy boy, party time is over!"

David Puddy-"You got a question...you ask the eight ball!!"

Jackie Chiles- "This is the most public yet of my many humiliations"

"Your face IS my case"

Soup Nazi- "No soup for you!"

Kenny Bania-"This place has the best soup in the city Jerry, the best!"

"I've been working out...I'm huge!"

It begins!

The purpose of this blog is primarily to chronicle some of the best episodes, moments, and characters from the television show Seinfeld. While the majority of the focus will be placed on what I consider to be the greatest television show of all time, I will also occasionally rant on political issues, movies, sports, and anything else that drives me to write a post.